The Twins Have Arrived

Nevea Juliet Dean (pronounced Ne-VAY-ah)

was born on Thursday, September 29 @ 2:31pm. 

She weighed in at 5 lbs and measured 17 inches long. 

Her brother, Ammon Liam Dean was born at 2:35pm.

He tipped the scales at 6lbs, 4 oz and measured 18 inches long. 

Here's the full story-

I was in the middle of a dream early Thursday morning when I became aware I was having a contraction.  I woke up, went to the bathroom, got my vitals checked and tried to go back to sleep.  But the contractions kept coming so I called the nurse and she put me on the monitor.  I kept having to go to the bathroom which is another sign I was in labor.  I called Dallin to give him the heads up then called him back at 630 to make plans to come in because something was going on. 

I was checked at 8am and was at a 2.  This kind of surprised me because most of the contractions were strong enough I thought I would be father ahead.  They kept me on the monitor for the morning, I kept going to the bathroom and at 1pm I was at a 4.  They gave me a quick ultrasound to verify the babies positions and baby girl was still breech so delivery would be a Csection. 

I was disappointed and a little confused and of course saddened but at the same time I knew that there was a reason they had to be born this.  Lori, my amazing RS president and friend had come in around noon and she played the mama role for me which I will be forever grateful for.  We couldn't have done it without all her help and support. 

Things moved very quickly after that.  Anesthesia came in to explain the procedure and what was about to happen once I got back in the OR.  We had called Dr. Thompson AKA Bishop Thompson earlier that morning to give him the heads up so that he could be the one to work with us.  He had come in earlier to explain how an epidural was administered etc.  When he came back with his team, he and Dallin gave me a quick blessing and within minutes we were out the door and down the hall to the OR. 

I was in tears from the time the ultrasound was performed until I was moved to the operating room.  It was a mixture of emotions-fear, sadness, anxiety and just overall emotional drama.  But Dr/Bishop was great.  I was so glad to have a priesthood holder in charge of such a pivotal part of the procedure.  (If the name rings a bell, yes, he is the same doc that worked with Dallin in his surgery).  He walked me through the whole process which was a bit unpleasant but not as bad as I had thought it was going to be. 

Once the meds were in and starting to warm my legs, I was quickly laid down on the table and prepped.  I still cannot believe how quick it all happened.  Within minutes, they had opened me up and were prepping to remove the babies.  They brought Dallin in and Dr/Bishop continued to tell me what was going on on the other side of the sheet.  By then my shaking had subsided for the most part and excitement started to take over.  It is a weird sensation to be awake and feel the tugs and pulls on your body but feel no pain, just awkward movement and manipulation.

Dallin watched as Nevea came out butt first.  We love the joke that she entered the world mooning her dad.  haha!  She cried within seconds and was whisked away next door to the heater.  We could hear her crying in there which impressed everyone because that rarely happens, especially for someone this early.

Ammon was a bit trickier to get out.  He was stuck up under the placenta and they really had to push and pull on me to get him out.  I think I might get bruising on my ribs from where he was tucked under.  Four minutes later, he was out too.  He had a bit of a rougher start.  His color was off and he wasn't breathing too well.  They brought Nev back for me to see before they took her back to the warmer.  I never saw Ammon because he had to be placed on oxygen.

The closing up process was really uncomfortable.  When everything was done and they had to put my uterus back in (I know, ew.  I didn't think that happened either until they told me that was what they were doing) I couldn't bare the discomfort.  This began at the time when they took Dallin to go be with Ammon.  At first I didn't want him to leave but I am glad he did because I was not in a good place over the next few minutes and am glad he didn't see me like that.  Still no pain but really, really awkward pressure and feeling.  Part of me was freaking out and the other part was telling myself- I am okay.  I am okay.  They gave me a drug to relax me via an oxygen mask and that was the trippiest dream I have ever had.  I was conscious but not really.  I seriously felt like I was falling though the hole in Alice in Wonderland.  It was beyond bizarre.  Thankfully, it was only about 15 minutes because I came back to reality and they were stitching me up.  I was trying really hard to focus and resume normalcy.  I heard the one nurse say she wasn't going to have any fingers left.  I apologized and promised her I owed her a manicure.  Then I started talking about how much I wanted some sushi.  I could tell the nurses were exchanging looks and getting a kick out of my drug induced comments but I was fully aware of what I was saying.  I really wanted sushi!  I hadn't been able to eat it for months and after enduring that procedure, I felt like I deserved any meal I wanted. 

Finally, all was done and they transferred me back to my hospital bed and pushed me into recovery.  I stayed there an hour.  Dallin and Lori took turns visiting with me.  Ammon was doing better and both babies were set up in the NICU.  After an hour, I was rolled down to my new room.  Dallin and Lori moved all my stuff over from where I had previously been staying and we rested, had dinner and they visited the babies.  Dallin left around 8 and Lori stayed the night with me.  My pain was minimal.  In fact, I was quite comfortable.  I was on a liquids diet which wasn't any fun and it definitely wasn't sushi.  But anything was better than the nothing I had eaten all day. 

At 4, they woke me up to take out my catheter and get me on my feet.  It went a lot better than I thought.  Not really pain, just discomfort.  I tried going to the bathroom then I finally got to go and see my babies.  Both were in open bassinets no longer needing heaters.  Ammon had an oxygen tube under his nose but only on a minimal dose and they figured he'd be off it by morning.  Both were sleeping so I couldn't hold them but it was good enough to see them, say hello and touch their sweet faces. 

Dallin was back to the hospital at 1030.  We headed to the NICU because I was given permission to breastfeed both twins!  This is huge for preemies their age.  Usually, they don't have the sucking reflex yet nor the ability to eat and breathe at the same time.  But both got clearance.  I was so excited!  Ammon got to go first.  He did pretty well, considering the complications he had began with.  He was more interested in staying asleep but I loved being able to just snuggle and talk to him.  He sure is a cutie!  Looks a lot like how Dace did when he was born.  Nev woke up and Dallin got to do diaper duty (he had changed Ammon's too before his feeding) then they got to snuggle before it was her turn to eat.  She eats like a champ!  Just like a newborn.  I am so excited!  The nurse was impressed with both of their abilities.  Dallin says to me- Isn't this fun?!  We don't have to share!

We stayed with them for an hour and a half before I had to go the bathroom and was getting tired enough that I needed to lie down.  So we came back and had lunch and both worked on computers and that brings you up to date the present moment. 

We are beyond grateful for the miracle that is their improvement and growth.  The nurse thinks they will be out of the NICU within a couple days, going down a step to Level 2 which is wonderful.  We're not sure when we'll be able to take them home but I think it will be sooner than most of the staff think, because they are bouncing back so well.  Dallin calls them the bullies of the NICU because they are easily the biggest babies in there.  Most others are in the 2-4 pound range so our little tanks are definitely ahead of the curve.  And once my milk comes in and they start eating regularly, they'll pack on that weight so quick and we will be home in  no time. 

Please keep the prayers coming.  This miracle isn't over yet....

Mama meeting daughter for the first time. 

Sorry it's a little blurry.  Dallin in two words- absolutely smitten.  She's already a daddy's girl.  She woke up as soon as he started talking to her. 

Ammon's milk mustache.  He was too sleepy to eat nicely.  :)

Then Again...Maybe Not.

Let me start with the day in review because that is pleasant.

I slept much better last night after taking some drugs.  I woke up before 8, had breakfast then had a little cat nap before showering and getting dressed.  Then after lunch I did some reading and some emails then even got to go for a little wheelchair ride outside- woo hoo!  I watched Eclipse and had another little cat nap and just overall had a pretty good day.  Alisha brought me more yarn.  She stopped by on Sunday and taught me how to crochet.  Have I mentioned that yet?  Anyway, I am really liking it and she brought me 4 balls of yarn so I should have a couple little blankets done by the end of the week. 

I spent the evening crocheting and semi-watching tv then went up to the nurses station to use the scissors and chat with them.  That's when I hit a road block.

They were asking me what the plan for induction next week was and Joan said that any babies born before 35 weeks will automatically go to the NICU no matter their weight, color at birth etc.  Great.  I had been told otherwise.  I was told that they would go there but if their stats were fine, they would be released.  She said that they would stay there for at least 12 hours before being released.  So now I am rethinking the plan.  They said to talk to Royek on Monday and he can talk to the neonatologist that will be on duty and they might be able to be flexible but who knows.  I'll try not to think about it til then but jeez loueez can I please just get a break?  let's just set a plan and get this all over with.  I guess it's really not too much of a change since I was originally wanting to wait til Friday anyway but then I got antsy and since Royek wants to induce as soon as they are heads down, that changed things.  But if waiting another 2 freaking days in this hospital means that they will come straight back to me then fine, I will give another 2 days of my life sitting in this room, brewing these babies and crocheting their blankets. 

anyway, of course I'll keep you posted.  Tomorrow is another ultrasound.  stay tuned....

Things That I Miss

Things that I miss from living at home and from being non-pregnant.  Day 18 here at the hospital.  I'm bored and trying to entertain myself.  So let's see what I can come up with in all seriousness as well as some for comedic relief. 
I miss....

1.  My husband.  This much time alone I feel like I'm single again.  I kinda just want to sit down with him and makeout like we're teenagers.  haha!  oh wait, that's what got me here in the first place.  never mind! ;)

2.  My boys.  Oh I just want snuggles and kisses and to watch them run round and round in circles giggling and playing with each other. 

3.  My bed.

4.  My privacy.

5.  Being able to cook and bake. 

6.  Daily doses of fresh air.

7. Wearing normal clothes. 

8.  Going to church. 

9.  Cleaning.  Yup.  I sometimes make a mess around here just to have something to tidy up. 

10.  doing my hair and makeup. 

11.  having a daily to-do list. 

12.  being able to touch my feet.

13.  Having a lap that my belly does NOT rest on.

14.  Eating anything more than a few bites without getting heartburn.

15.  Laying on my stomach.

16.  Rolling over in bed in a second, not 5 minutes while actually holding my belly in order to do so. 

17.  Being able to shave my own legs. 

18.  Not having to pee every 8 minutes. 

19.  Walking like a human, not an overstuffed turkey on his tiptoes with both broken hips. 

20.  Speaking of walking, I can't wait til I can wear cute heels again.

21.  My waist measurement to be back somewhere in the 20s, not double+ that!  I wonder if I'll crack the big 5-0 before next week.....

22.  my innie belly button. 

23.  Being able to have a bath. 

24.  Nesting.  I was just starting to get organized and then this happened.  It's kind of driving me crazy that the nursery is complete chaos but that will change within a couple days of us getting home. 

25.  my Mary Kay meetings.  I miss my girls!

26.  washing clothes.  I kind of like doing laundry.  I almost find it therapeutic.  weird, huh?

27.  being able to work out or do anything that raises my heartrate and doesn't give me contractions. 

28.  speedwalking, not slowwaddling.

29.  running errands or anything that involves contact with society. 

30.  being flexible and moving at ease without thought of pulling something, throwing out a hip or putting myself into labor.

Yup.  This has all been swell and grand but I am ready to live at home again and have my body be my own. 

Puppy Love

One of the blogs I follow have just added a puppy to their family.  His name is Ziggy.  I copied a pic to show you him.  Isn't he adorable?!

I love puppies that look like this!  I have never really been a cat or dog person but there is something about fluffy little puppies like this that I cannot resist. 

Every time she posts pics of this puppy and her little boy, I totally think of Zade.  Zay zay LOVES dogs.  He just squeals with delight when we meet one and he never gets bored of playing with them.  I think he would love a dog like this and would look so stinkin' cute with one.  Here is another borrowed picture.  It totally reminds me of Zade with his own puppy. 

Isn't this totally Zade?!  I love the thousand words this picture speaks to me. 

The only dog I have ever wanted is a chow chow. 

Aren't they so cute?!  Zade would just gobble him up!

I know, everyone has hesitant opinions about them being grouchy and territorial and bad with kids blah blah blah.  But I want one.  In fact, I want two.  I've heard that they are best to add to a family once you've had all your kids so that they don't get weird if another baby joins the family.  So now I daydream about getting two chow chow puppies for the kids once we are settled in our home in Canada in a couple years, with a big yard or even better a few acres for the puppies to roam with the kids.  Because I think two little puppies that look like this would be a perfect addition to our family.  And the thought of them following the boys around the yard makes me heart sing. 

Light at the End of the Tunnel

You want to know my favorite word in that title?  End.  Yup, we are almost there. 

It's interesting that you really do have to hit rock bottom sometimes to start moving in the direction that you want to go-upwards.  I had the worst night yet last night.  6am I was still awake.  I called my nurse and complained at how uncomfortable I was and she convinced me to take a couple pills to help me calm down and get some sleep.  Well, they worked.  Gloriously.  I finally calmed down and fell asleep.  I got up around 9ish to pee and eat my breakfast then went back to bed til almost 130.  I still didn't want to get up then but forced myself to.  Then I still had a nap for an hour or so before 6.  I'm going to get something at bedtime tonight to help me sleep and reset this bodyclock.

Dallin came up tonight to bring me some non-hospital food for dinner and a little date night visit.  Before he left I got another blessing and it was exactly what I needed, they always are.  How do people live without the prieshood power in their lives?!  I am so grateful that it is a part of my life.  These babies are getting ready to make their turn- to be head down.  We are on the home stretch.  We're going to have babies in the next week.  I'm looking at the calendar and I think oct.5 will be the big day.  If I can convince my doc to let me wait for my mama to get here. 

I feel so good right now.  Like I can breathe and can see the end and just have to hang in there a few more days.  My waistline has grown another 2 inches- a jaw dropping 47 inches!!!!  But---I am grateful.  That means babies are growing really well.  Baby girl looked a lot bigger in the ulrasound yesterday morning so I am happy for that.  Mr chunkachunk continues to be so.  Wouldn't it be so great if both babies were 6 pounders?!  I am fairly confident he will be.  She might be just a few ounces under that.  But the bigger the better.  The healthier they are, the sooner we can go home and my goal is to go home the day after they are born. 

Speaking of which, I am one of only a few still on the high risk unit.  Most were released today.  So many that my nurse was sent home because there wasn't enough to do.  A few more have been admitted but I am definitely the one with the gold star for being here the longest.  Doctors continue to be amazed that I have been leaking for 3 weeks and have not gone into labor.  I think I have finally convinced Royek that he doesn't know what's going on but that I do.  ha!  They just have no idea who I have in my corner and who is really in charge of this situation.  I can't wait to see his face next week when he gets back and sees that these babies did in fact turn.  Faith precedes miracles.  I have been blessed to experience 2 amazing miracles in the same summer.  What a humbling, growing and beautiful experience both of these trials have been. 

An Upgrade and a Downer

Monday, Monday.  Can't touch that day.  My grade 6 teacher used to sing that song almost every week.  Now when I have a crummy Monday, I think back to that song. 

So my nights are starting to all be the same.  I go to bed around 1am after my monitoring is done.  Then its tossing and turning and up and down for the bathroom then I usually resort to turning the tv back on to try and relax again after getting so frustrated with the ups and downs.  Then sometime around 3am I finally feel like sleeping and fall asleep in the next hour.  Then at 4am my nurse comes in to take my BP and temp then I am left alone for a couple hours til my first resident comes in to ask q's and check my breathing, heart sounds, check for tummy tenderness and any swelling in my legs.  then an hour or so later my second resident comes in to do the exact.  Same.  Thing!  WHY?!?!?  I don't get it. 

Then I go back to sleep and am usually left alone til I wake up around 10.  But today was different.

Last night, I got moved to the one and only double suite in the unit.  It is about twice as big but about 20 years behind in decor.  I think I liked my smaller, renovated room better but whatever.  Marsha, my night nurse, said that they'll give me the suite since I am the one on the floor that will probably be here the longest.  I asked her about the other expecting mother with twins who had been here for 5 weeks and was supposed to be here til the end of her pregnancy.  Well, she delivered over the weekend!  Poor little babies.  She was only around 28 weeks.  I joked that maybe I shouldn't go to her room, maybe bad ju-ju, and send me into labor as well.  But Marsha assured me the room was fine.  So in I went. 

Back to this morning.  So I went back to sleep and woke up abruptly to my bed being reshaped.  I pulled off my eye mask to find a new ultrasound tech setting my bed up.  I told her that she should have woke me up.  She said that I was sleeping so soundly that she thought I might sleep through the scan.  Seriously?!?!  Yes, rearrange my bed, strip me of my blankets, goop up my belly with cold jel and poke and prod at my abdomen for 15 minutes because I totally would have slept through that.  Lady, I had ear plugs in; I wasn't in a coma!  Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.  Thankfully, the babies were cooperating and it was a quick scan.  My breakfast had been delivered already and I was hungry so I ate quickly then went back to sleep til 1130. 

But today has been a downer.  It never helps when I wake up here in a bad mood because then I am cranky and just want to go home.  I went to get in the shower and the head was broken.  It just seemed like everything was falling apart and I was done.  So I wasn't in the best mood today and very emotional.  I just burst out crying during my lunch blessing on the food and was on the verge of tears all afternoon. I had another nap for most of the afternoon then had a visitor which was a really great pick me up. 

I have finished my dinner now and am feeling much better.  I can survive another day.  Even though I am so over being pregnant.  I am just uncomfortable all the time.  This poor tummy of mine. I had to give my skin a pep talk to endure just a couple more weeks and then we would have some relief.  My hips hurt.  I waddle.  I'm tired of wearing this tent of a hospital gown.  I need a manicure, a pedicure, my hair colored and cut, a massage and my make up done.  I want to sleep in my own bed, go outside whenever I want, and be woken up not by new strangers every night but by two little sweetpeas who want to eat and have a snuggle.  I know that when I go home with these babies, it's going to be really, really hard.   But I am ready for that "trial" and am so over this one. 

Out of the mouth of Dace

Two cute stories for you.

This one happened a couple days before I entered the hospital.  At the supper table, I looked across to see Dace with his finger in his nose.  I told him to not pick his nose but he didn't stop.  I told him again and he said- "But....I'm trying to get all the little crumbs out."  Ah yes, crusty little booger crumbs can be so annoying. 

Today, after Dallin and the boys left the hospital Dallin called me to tell me this story.  They were listening to the radio and Maroon 5 was on, the song "Moves Like Jagger."  The chorus repeats that line over and over and when the song was finished Dace kept singing, "I got the moon jacket!  I got the moon jacket!"

Two Weeks down!!!!

I have survived...but barely. 

I was grumpy this morning and ready to go home.  I had another horrible night then they forgot my cream cheese for my bagel (the nerve!) and then my doctor made a joke of me trying to go into labor while I was out walking the halls.  I know, it all sounds piddly enough but when tired and hormonal meet, plus boredom and homesick, the intersection is not a pretty one.  Plus if I had a dollar for every stupid/silly/unappreciated comment I got while out walking, I'd probably be able to pay this hospital bill in cash. 

I allowed myself to be a crankpot for a while then after lunch, Britt called and that got me out of my funk.  Royek finally stopped in to talk to me, answering my questions about delivery and my birth plan requests.  It was a 50/50 conversation.  Part of it was okay, the other part I wanted to curse a blue streak and leave the hospital.  So yes, even though I have surrendered as previously stated, I still go back and forth about the final outcome from time to time.  I just have too much time to think.  That has always been a downfall for me. 

This baby boy has been trying his best to kick out an escape root on the right side of my rib cage all...day...long.  I think I spent more time with my head towards the ground this morning than right side up, trying to encourage him to swim to the left and swan dive.  He'd have so much room.  But no.  He just continues to kick and stretch in a place where there is simply no more room.  Oh how I wish I could have some acupuncture today.  He really needs to shift over and downwards.  I'm out of ideas as to how else I can encourage him. 

I had a nice visit time this afternoon.  Dallin, Mark and Lisa came up to visit for a few hours which was really great.  They just headed home a half hour ago.  I think I'll take a nap now and then read a bit more and then see if I feel like watching a movie. 

There were 10 babies born yesterday and at least 5 today.  Weekends are so much busier than the weekdays around here.  crazy. 

Stretched to the Limit

I am officially uncomfortable.  And bored.  Not a great combination for a Friday afternoon.

I am beginning to have a slight inclination as to what it would feel like to be racked in mideval England.  The skin from my shoulders all the way down to mid-thigh is pulled to the max.  It's tight, itchy, mostly red and yes, my body has finally succumbed to stretch marks.  The word 'mark' doesn't seem to do them justice.  They are more like 2 angry, blazing red jetstreams laying wake below my belly button.  And they hurt!  They are so sore and sensitive.  Everytime I have an ultrasound or monitoring, I flinch and cringe when they drive their wands overtop of the area.  And we still have 2 weeks to go!  That means that each baby could potentially gain another pound before birth.  The aftermath of this experience will be forever ingrained into my torso.  Even my armpits are tight and uncomfortable. 

Speaking of ultrasounds, I forgot to include that update from yesterday.  Good news- both babies scored 8/8.  Two points each for fluid, practice breathing, movement and heart rate.  Her fluid is normal but still could use improvement.  Bad news- she is still breech, he is still transverse.  The little man is getting cramped in there.  He is laying right under my ribcage and is constantly stretching out his legs.  It feels like a roller pin under my skin as I see and feel his feet move out.  I keep telling him that he would have so much more room and be so much more comfortable if he would just do a little 90degree head dive and reside in the left side of the womb.  I even gave him permission to kick me in the ribs all he wants.  Nope.  He still hasn't moved. 

I need a project.  I joked on facebook this morning about bringing my sewing  machine in so I could whip up halloween costumes for the twins.  I have nothing else to do!  I finished watching Mad Men and don't feel like watching anything else.  I can only read for a few minutes before getting drowsy and wanting to go back to bed.  I rarely have visitors and there is only so much pacing of the halls I can do, enduring the same blank stares and stupid questions/comments from passersby.  And still another two weeks to go with all this?!  I am so excited!!!!!

Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water, I Will Ease your Mind

I have a confession.  I've been listening to Clay Aiken.  Yup.  Clay Aiken.  His version of Bridge Over Troubled Water is my favorite.  That opinion probably is considered sacrilege for those who are true Simon & Garfunkel fans but there is a power and a tone in his voice that really gets me.  Granted, I can't actually watch the American Idol clip of him singing it because he looks like a teenage version of Ronald McDonald after getting his hair styled by Ryan Seacrest.  So I just listen to it- over and over again. 

This morning, this song came to life for me.  Yesterday, my dr told me he wasn't exactly pro birth-plan which really bummed me out.  He and I are scheduled to talk tomorrow morning about delivery options and I thought that after him saying that, I wasn't going to get what small things I would prefer to do while delivering these babies.  I vented to my sister and my mom about it and have been thinking about things AGAIN since our conversation. 

Well, this morning my awesome nurse Robyn came in to check on me.  I think I've had her for 4 days now and she is my favorite.  Her looks remind me of my sister in law and she is a true southern belle sweetheart.  She sat down on the bed next to me and said that there was something in my chart about Royek poo-pooing a birth plan.  My night nurse must have made a note about it last night because she and I talked briefly about it as well.  Robyn went on to say that they work with them all the time and listed several things that they could accomodate me for.  Everything she mentioned is on my list.  Talk about easing my mind!  I guess it just proves once more that it's the nurses and not the doctors that run a hospital.  She said that when delivery day comes they will make sure that they put a nurse that thinks the same way I do in regards to childbirth with me so that I will have the best help and accomodations as possible.  Wow- what a sigh of relief.  I was really starting to feel like I would be viewed as this hippie extremist surrounded by disapproving medical professionals.  But my mind has been completely put at ease and I am thankful for that answer to prayer. 

The only thing left to work out is when to induce.  Robyn mentioned that the time between 34-35 weeks is crucial.  It can make the difference between NICU or not.  By the time my parents get here on the 4th, I will have been in here for 3.5 weeks.  My goal is to be home by October 8, that Saturday.  So now my prayers are focused on receiving revelation as to a date that is best for these twins to be born.  Do we still plan on earlier that week and plan on possibly being in NICU for a few days before being released or do we chance it, let them simmer a few days longer and hold out til Friday and plan on going home the next day.  I think I am leaning towards the latter option.  If they are born on October 7 (share a birthday with Uncle Tighe!!!) they will be abour 34 weeks and 5/6 days.  They shouldn't need NICU at all.  I still feel very confident that whenever they are born, they will be completely fine.  Robyn says the two things that release them from NICU is that they have to be able to breathe on their own without any problems and they have to be able to regulate their own body temp without assistance.  Once those two things are a double check, they can be moved to the normal nursery, come to cobed with me and be able to be released.  Preemie weight is sometime also a factor but mr. chunkachunk in there is already past the preemie weight category and she will surpass it by then as well.  thank goodness.  one less thing to worry about.  I am doing everything I can to grow them as strong and healthy and big as possible.  I am eating every few hours, keeping hydrated and eating as much protein as possible, including a couple protein powder shakes a day.  Their consistent heartbeats continue to amaze everyone.  They are so easy to monitor and seem very very happy in there so I think that is a gold star for my efforts.  Now it just comes down to a date. 

A Room Without A View

I finally had company after a 4 day drought.  Anyone local that is reading this, please come and visit.  I really appreciate the company.  Other than that, it's just me and Netflix.  All.  Day.  Long. 

Anyway, Dallin brought the boys up tonight along with another load of requests, including my camera card reader.  So without further ado, here is the photo journal post that I mentioned the other day. 



My non-view.  Isn't it glorious?



My snack bar.  Well, this is what it looked like on Sunday.  Half of this is gone.  It needs to be restocked. 

My cell, I mean my room. 

The art collection by Dace and Zade. 

The ever-expanding waist measurement with two more weeks to go.....

The most common view on my laptop.  I have 2 more episodes then I have no idea what I'm going to watch. 

The vision board.  Come on, babies- turn!!!!!

An Interview with Dace Dean

I thought people might enjoy a break from my ranting to see the cute BEBs.  I was missing the boys today so I was watching home videos that I have on my computer.  This is a clip I made back in July and never got around to posting it.  The kid is pretty cute. 

Do you hear the racket in the back ground?  Here is a clip of Zade playing.  I think the two clips are a perfect comparison on the difference of these 2 little personalities- chill vs.high-strung.  haha!

White Flag

I believe in a lot of things.  I know that God lives and believe in His priesthood power.  I also believe that we as humans possess more power than we will ever comprehend in this life.  Call it "the universe", call it the Law of Attraction but I know that there is a power out there that we can tap into and reign in through our own thoughts and energy.  "Energy flows where attention goes."  We have the power to change or create so much in our lives.  But mastering that habit, that mindset can be a lifelong journey. 

One of my favorite Oprah moments has to do with this topic.  Several years ago, she told this story on her show.  She had recently auditioned for a movie role.  I believe it was for The Color Purple.  She had spent days and days wondering and worrying and trying to predict if she would end up with it.  One day she was out for a walk and of course was thinking about it.  All of a sudden, she had one of her aha moments where she decided to just let it go.  "In that moment," she said, " I decided to surrender.  I looked up into the heavens, closed my eyes and said- I surrender this to you."   She walked home and within minutes of returning, the phone rang and the movie studio offered her the role. 

For some reason, this story has always stuck with me. At the time I heard it, I knew nothing of quantum physics, didn't know a thing about energy work and certainly never heard of the Law of Attraction.  But as I have come to be familiar in all those areas over the last few years, this story is even more precious to me than ever.  Because we really do hold that much power.  "That which we resist, persists."

The last few days have been emotionally and mentally draining for me.  I have been racking my brain trying to come up with a game plan as to how this pregnancy is going to end.  There are several different options with so many big factors still up in the air, that the more I tried to put pieces together, the more overwhelmed, frustrated and alone I felt.  I have been prompted so strongly throughout this pregnancy about so many things and then all of a sudden, I feel like I no longer have the answers, the most important answers of all, and it's all up to me to figure it out and be right. 

This morning, I talked with Royek about a few things.  After our conversation and me talking it over with Dallin, this is where things stand: 
-if the twins stay transverse, we will schedule a section for oct. 5.
-if we can get them to turn, we'll give them a few extra days to simmer, induce on oct.7
-if they are both heads down, AWESOME!  IF baby B is breech, Royek wants me to have an epidural so that baby B can be manually extracted.  Vaginally delivering a breech baby doesn't seem like an option around here and when I asked about how much time he would give the second to be born, he really didn't answer the question. 

SO- where does that leave us?  Most ideal situation- both babies turn head down and stay that way.  I will do whatever I can in my power to get them there- several inversions a day, pep talks, visualization and I'm going to write a letter to the twins today about it.  Sounds weird but it is just another form of visual therapy that has proven to be quite successful. 

Other than that, I surrender.  There is nothing more that I can do, nothing more that I can plan beyond that point.  We will continue to pray and have faith of course.  But trying to control or manipulate anything else is  not an option and I surrender. Sure there is always a slight chance that I will go into labor before 34 weeks but I really feel that the Lord put me in the hospital to keep these babies safe and growing.  These are special little spirits with big work to do in their lifetime for the Lord and He could not risk them being born too early.  Had I stayed at home, it is almost inevitable that I would have delivered them by now.  So I will surrender my will to His, I will do everything in my power that I can to create the ideal delivery for us and He will take care of the rest. 

Stupid Hospital BS

I probably shouldn't blog when I am this cranky but then again why not.  What else do I have to do?

So I was about 10 minutes into my acupuncture treatment this afternoon when my nurse came in and was very hesitant about what was going on.  She said that my chart said I could not have acupuncture.  I told her that this was my second session, that it had been approved last week and I hadn't been told of any changes.  She said that the decision had been passed up to risk management and they denied it, saying she had no priviledges in practicing at the hospital.  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

So risk management would rather have me undergo major surgery to have my babies cut out of me than to allow a risk-free energy work to be done on me in chances of turning the babies so that they can be birthed vaginally.  See what I mean- stupid hospital bullcrap.  This is just one reason why I wanted to avoid this whole situation to begin with.  ughhhhhhhhhhh....

in other news, the babies are starting to turn.  Her fluid is back up to normal as of this morning's ultrasound.  She is butt breech but she is slowly moving up the right side.  His feet are above her head and his head is now on my left.  So she just needs to flip and he needs a little 90degree turn and boom- we'll be in business.  I guess it is now up to me to do whatever I can on my own to assist them as well as all the prayers that continue to be said on our behalf. 

A Slow Sunday

I slept in til 10 today because last night was kind of rough.  I was getting a little frustrated with this leak situation.  It keeps me up for hours sometimes.  Anyway, after breakfast and a quick shower, Karen and her husband came in and she gave me another chiropractic adjustment.  She said my ligaments and alignment were much better than the last time.  The babies really respond well to these treatments.  I have another acupuncture treatment scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.  When my night nurses came in an hour ago, Raquel said that her supervisor was looking into liability with the treatments.  I might have to sign something.  Whatever.  I'll sign whatever but don't take her away until I say so.  This is all helping, I know it.  I'll be ticked if they change their mind and would probably just smuggle them in to treat me anyway.  What are they gonna do?  Send me home on bad behavior??   hmmmmm.......

Dallin came up by himself after church.  We worked on an inversion and actually had a decent conversation lasting more than a few minutes, which is usually the case when the boys are here visiting.  Lisa popped in for a bit as well and it was nice to have a room of company.  After Lisa left, I walked Dallin to the elevators and dinner was waiting for me when I returned. 

I have a nice photo entry ready for you today but my computer won't read the card directly so I will have to wait til tuesday or wednesday for dallin to bring up my card reader.  Then you can see the inside scoop of my living quarters. 

Tonight I have been a bit lost in thought.  I have been thinking a lot lately about how to go about fighting for my rights with my babies after they are born.  I was just down at the nursery where there was a little guy naked under the heating lamps sleeping peacefully when the nurse came over to give him a bath.  He started screeching and all those tiny limbs flailing as she went about scrubbing at his face and head.  I couldn't watch.  I had to walk away.  That is just one thing of many I want to avoid with my babies.  I don't want them separated from me in the first place and I do not want them bathed by anyone but me and definitely not hours after birth.  Babies are not dirty when they are born!  Anyway, I'll save my speech on the topic but I have been worrying alot the last couple days about those postpartum hours for my newborns.  I called Georganna (midwife) and we are going to powwow tomorrow to come up with a plan on how I can get what I want and how to go about getting it. 

This all probably sounds really silly to those who have had a hospital birth and see my birthing center experiences as a bit extreme.  But this is such a 180 from what I know and want.  I have very strong beliefs in regards to the bonding/comforting that takes place immediately after birth.  I want my babies with me.  I don't want them being dealt with by plastic gloves, under bright lights, swirled around in plastic bins up and down the hallway, washed up with antibacterial soaps like they are some kind of infectious alien to our planet and needlessly poked and prodded.  I want them held and bonding with their mommy and daddy and grandparents......It almost makes me start thinking the question- why did this have to happen?  Why couldn't we have the birth that I had envisioned and that we had pretty much finalized details for?  I know everything happens for a reason.  So what is the reason for this experience?  I'd really like to know because I really don't like this worrying feeling.  This feeling that a disappointing experience is inevitable.  I am still weeks to go and all I want is for all of this to be over and to be at home with all 4 of my babies.  God give me the strength and the patience and the courage to endure at least 2 more weeks of all of this......because right now I am feeling kind of bummed about the end result. 

One Week Down

I can't believe I've been in here a week already.  It has gone by fairly quickly for which I am grateful.  I must confess I am getting somewhat baby hungry.  I think there are 7 newborns on the floor now and I want to meet mine too.  But I know that it is still too early.  They need at least another 2 weeks to bake and so I will continue to be patient. 

Dallin brought the boys up to visit today.  We spent a few minutes in my room eating snacks and talking to my friend whose daughter is in PICU then we went down to the peds waiting room.  there is a toddler table in there and a toy table so we closed the door and let the boys roam free for 20 minutes.  Zade was more than content running from one end of the room to the other, flopping onto the chairs then dragging and pushing one of the toddler chairs around.  It was nice to just sit and watch them play.  I've missed their cute little faces and their interaction. 

Dallin brought me a few new gitfts.  An electric kettle so I can make my tea every night and not have to ingest the lukewarm microwaved water that the nurses have been providing and a little pair of speakers to plug into my computer for watching Netflix and movies.  The volume settings on my computer are too low(even set at max)  to watch without earplugs and they were starting to bother me.  now I don't feel so isolated when I am watching something. 

Lisa popped in for a visit around 6 and brought me Jane Eyre and Something Borrowed plus a bag of Dove chocolate caramels.  Ah, she knows me too well.  We had a nice visit waiting for my dinner to arrive.  I've already watched Something Borrowed.  It was good but totally rewritten from the book.  After I post this I'll watch Jane Eyre.

I am up til about 1230 each night.  They come in to do my 20 minutes of monitoring the babies right after midnight so I don't bother trying to sleep before then.  I have enough interuptions during the night after 1am that it is pointless to try and sleep before that test is run.  So don't hesitate to call thinking it is too late because I am awake until at least 1am every night. 

I'm going to see if I can convince my dr to let me go outside for a bit tomorrow afternoon.  I asked my nurse yesterday but she said they usually want me to stay on the floor because "they would have a fit if you got to the main floor and that cord fell out."  Yes, because the chances of that happening are at LEAST in the 90th percentile.  Ugh.  worst case scenario thinkers.  I could never work in a profession where I had to focus on the negative odds all day long.  anyway, I'll see if it would be okay for Dallin to push me outside in a wheelchair.  Fresh fall air would be glorious right about now.  Now back to movie night.....

A Baby Boom on a Gloomy Friday Afternoon

There is a lullaby chime that rings over the intercom whenever a baby is born.  I think it rang 4 times this afternoon.  Including my next door neighbor who had a 3lb baby girl, 15 inches.  I only know this from the pink, informative wreath hanging on her door.  She was high risk as well so I assume that teeny girl is in NICU.  I hope she will be fine. 

The newborn nursery is at the end of my hall and there are 4 babies in there right now.  Two were right by the glass and I got a little choked up looking at those punkins.  They were all chub and pink and bundled up and I just wanted to pick them up, take a good whiff of that nerborn baby smell and give 'em a snuggle.  A few more weeks and we'll have two!!!  I can't imagine not wanting your newborn baby right beside you but that is just me. 

My awesome RS president came to visit me today and brought me a basket of goodies.  No, she literally brought me a basket.  Fresh fruit, lollipops, chocolates, granola bars, M&Ms, crackers, cookies.  It's better than a Christmas stocking! I love it!  She stayed and we chatted for about an hour.  It was great to have the company because with the gloomy weather today I was feeling more lonely than usual.  But she fixed that! 

The babies have been doing a lot of swimming today.  Round and round in summersaults and pushing my belly to its ultimate stretching capacity.  It's hard to believe that there is only about 9 lbs of baby in there.  Feels more like 12-14.  All of the prayers and pep talks and treatments are really helping.  I'm excited to see when the big flip happens next week.  We will all be more comfortable when that happens. 

A Small world in a big hospital

The day started off with an ultrasound at 9am.  Both babies are still doing well but baby girl's fluid is below 2cm which puts her in the below average range for fluid.   No need to panic.  She can still survive and be fine with that and it doesn't mean that i'll be going into labor anytime but I have been chugging water all day to try and boost it back up.  Today was the first morning that I woke up really thirsty too so I'm not too surprised that it was low.  I'll bring it back up to a safer, better level- no problem. 

Then around noon Karen, my new chiropractor came in and I loved her from the moment I opened the door.  She's got this great energy and this chic hippie vibe.  We hit it off instantly.  She gave me some pointers on how to do more effective inversions (the best one I need help with so I have to wait til Dallin comes to visit) but I can still do one in my bed. Then she adjusted my neck, hips and ligaments and it felt soooooo good. 

A few minutes after she left, Nicole came in.  She is the acupuncturist.  I was so excited that I got the go ahead for both of them to come in and treat me.  She is wonderful as well.  Today's treatment was a lifting treatment to get the babies up, the ligaments open so that they have the space to move head down.  I love acupuncture!  It feels so great to have those points energized and the babies started reacting within the first few needles being inserted.  I had about 10 needles in- feet, legs, forearms, behind my ears and one on the top of my head.  For the record, if the thought of this is making you want to throw up, you don't even feel the needles being inserted.  An acupuncture needle can actually fit through the whole of a normal needle.  They are that thin.  It can feel like a little mosquito nip when its inserted just because you are alerting that energy point.  But it is not uncomfortable at all.  It feels good! 

Anyway, the second part of the treatment is to put a chinese herb on my baby toes called moxa.  Then she takes a coal wick and places it close to the moxa to  create heat. Once I feel the heat, I tell her and she pulls it away.  The babies are supposed to feel the heat and turn and swim towards the heat.  I know, sounds fishy, pun intented BUT turning babies with acupuncture has been proven to be more effective than external version.  This was proven in an article in some British medical journal.  So don't knock it til you try it!  Or see it to believe it.  Which you will because I know these babies are going to turn. 

My midwife Georganna showed up during acupuncture.  she is friends with both Karen and Nicole so she is the reason I get to work with them.  She stayed and visited for about an hour after the treatment. 

Once I got back to my room from walking her to the elevator, things got interesting.  I checked my email to find out that a family from the ward is here in the hospital with their 8 year old undergoing surgery!  Ped ICU is on my floor so I texted my friend to see if she wanted some company while they waited for surgery to be over.  Meanwhile, another knock at my door and it's Bishop Thompson, the anathesiologist who worked on Dallin.  He came in to visit and when I mentioned this family, he said that he and Suh just finished working on this little girl from my ward.  Somehow Suh knew that I was here and so he came to say hi.  Small small world.  Everything went fine with the little girl and after a short visit, Thompson left and supper was delivered.  While I was eating, my friend popped in to visit and we had a  great talk about how incredible it is to be able to lean on the priesthood during times like this and trust in the Lord that everything will work out.  Her daughter will be in the hospital for at least a week so we will be able to visit back and forth and she is going to be just fine. 

So it's been a busy day for company and progress in turning these bubbas.  Tomorrow is Friday already.  I've been here almost a week.  Time is going by rather quickly and each extra day for these babies to bake is such a huge blessing.

I'm dating Netflix

I've been watching a lot of tv online thanks to the generous servies of Netflix.  It is a godsend and definitely worth the small monthly fee we pay for it.  I have cable in my room but 95% of the time that is hit or miss and during the day it is only really good for mindless channel surfing. 

Dallin brought the boys up tonight.  Their visits are quick and busy but I am so glad to see them.  As soon as Zade saw me, he just started squealing and smiling so big and laughing.  It was the cutest thing ever and made me get a bit choked up.  Dace wasn't shy at all today- big hugs and kisses and stories to tell from the minute they walked in.  Plus they had fries to share which always helps. 

My belly is feeling different.  Ever since yesterday.  I have been pep talking these babies about turning head down.  We do this several times a day and they get a little massage at the same time as extra incentive.  They have been moving alot the last 24 hours and they feel like they are laying differently in there.  I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning so we will see.  I have also been given permission to have a chiropractor come in which I am really excited about.  she is one from Savannah, highly recommended by my midwife and she has an 87% success rate at turning breech babies.  We'll see what she can do with transverse.  She is coming in around noon tomorrow and I am really excited to have her adjust my uterine ligaments, help me with inversion and do what she can to nudge these babies head down. 

The leaking has been light and slow today.  In fact, there was almost nothing for an 8 hour stretch.  Another possible sign that the babies are in a different position.  And they took my IV out today before dinner.  yay!  All in all, I am feeling very optimistic about things.  Now back to my episode marathon..... 

Already Beaten The Odds

I have discovered the secret recipe to sleeping in a hospital.  It's the 3 E's- ear plugs, eye mask and elevation.  I slept last night.  woo hoo!  then after a quick breakfast and morning monitoring, I went back to sleep til almost noon.  It was great.

I had a visit from a neonatalogist this afternoon to give me some info on preemies.  For the most part it was sad and very, how can I put this, detached protocol.  For instance, there is no skin to skin contact with the mother if they are delivered before 34 weeks.  According to her, the babies just get cold-stressed.  Huh.  Really?  sometimes it is so hard for me to bite my tongue and not say anything about some of these "beliefs".  There was a story in the news last year about a baby that was born before 30 weeks and the doctor told the couple that the baby would not last more than a few minutes.  The mother requested to hold her baby and finally the doctors relented.  She put the naked baby on her chest, carressed her baby and talked to her and within 2 hours had normal stats and went on to grow healthy and strong.  Had that baby been placed alone in an incubator, would the end result have been the same?  I highly doubt it. 

Anyway, I will spare all the depressing protocols and possible negative outcomes.  I know that that is what doctors are trained for and how they think- the worst possible outcome.  But I just cannot get into that mindset.  I don't want to and that is not who I am, especially about childbirth.  She said 35 weeks is the cutoff for NICU.  If they are born before that, they will go straight there, have antibiotics, be fed with a tube and will not be allowed in my room.   They will stay there until their stats reach normal then they can be moved to the normal nursery and allowed in to live with mama. 

She was talking to me like I was going to go into labor at any moment which I found strange.  she said that most women with ruptured membranes go into labor within a week.  I kind of chuckled and said it's already been over a week and I am fine.  She was surprised and said that I have already beaten the odds then.  And I am sure that the babies will beat all the predicted odds when they are born too. 
So now my new goal is to keep them in til 35 weeks.  Which would be about Oct 10- perfect!  Our fifth year anniversary.  Dr. Royek might be willing to be a bit flexible on the dates and the protocol if they are born a few days before that and pass all their tests with flying colors.  I just want to avoid any situation that is going to keep me from instantly bonding and feeding and holding my babies.  I want them on my chest as soon as they are born and I would gladly hold them for 2 days straight if I was allowed.  I know the power in that bonding, especially skin to skin.  But I know that whenever they come into this world, they will be healthy and normal and everyone will be amazed at how strong and healthy they are.  And we will be home before we know it.

Turn Babies, Turn!

Rough night last night.  I still don't know if I actually ever fell asleep.  I got enough rest but I woke up cranky because just as I finally felt like I was drifting out, the nurses started coming in and the floor started waking up and then my breakfast came almost an hour early and then the ultrasound tech came in.  I just wanted to be sleeping for another hour! 

Anyway, so I had a lot of fluid leak last night.  But the doctor, Dr. Baker, Royek's partner, said that the amount doesn't really mean anything.  Other symptoms like infection, contractions or abdominal pain means that something might happen.  But last night was really scary.  For a few minutes there I really thought I was going into labor and that was it.  I chugged a protein shake, a granola bar, some water and prayed like crazy.  And soon enough, the contractions/cramps stopped and I felt much better. 

Back to the ultrasound- both babies are transverse and baby girl is really low down, face down, curled up.  The tech couldn't get many measurements from that position and she was sleeping and didn't want to move much or practice her breathing.  But we finally got her to do both after much prodding, unfortunately.  She seemed about as tired as I was. 

Baby boy was totally the opposite- he moved around and booted at the camera and even stuck his foot down into her shots a couple times.  We saw him practice breathing and we finally got a great profile shot of him.  I'll send it home with Dallin today to scan and I'll post tomorrow.  But he is a cutie alright! 

Fluids in both sacs are fine but she is the one that is leaking.  That is quite typical of twins for the bottom one to be the one that leaks.  Especially with a chunka-chunka brother laying on top of her!  Check out these weights:

She weighs 3 lbs and 12 ounces.  Baby brother-drum roll please- 4 lbs 11 ounces!!!!  He's pretty much a pound heavier!  It is totally safe for them to be this different since they are di-di twins, both with their own sacs and placentas.  So it's not like he's stealing her nutrients.  He's just bigger.  Again, typical of a male twin. 

So we really need to get them to turn.  Dr. Baker is doubtful since there are two in there and really starting to run out of room.  But I am not giving up yet.  I will fight to the last minute to avoid a section.  He is going to check hospital policy to see if I can have an acupuncturist to come in.  There are some amazing stories of turning babies with acupuncture and my midwife works close with one who has had several successes.  Hopefully we will be able to try it.  I am also going to be doing alot of inverse laying in bed, feet up and drawing the twins down and giving them room to change directions. 

Please, please pray for them to turn.  I think that if they did turn it would help heal the leak quicker too because they would go from laying on top of each other to some sort of laying side by side and the lesser pressure would give the leak a chance to heal.  At least that is what I think.  It makes sense to me.  So that is my focus.  Turn, turn, turn. 

Oh How the Tables Turn!

Greetings from my hospital bed at Memorial.  I'm tellin' ya, Dallin and I need to be put on the VIP list around here. 

So here is where things are at.  On Tuesday morning, around 10 I thought that my water had broke.  I talked with my midwife and laid down for a few hours but the leaking continued.  At 230, we drove into Savannah for the doctor to check.  He said I was leaking amniotic fluid and was to go straight to the hospital for bedrest until the babies were born.  I'll save you a long and frustrating story but we walked out of the office never to deal with that doctor again.  I pow wowed with my midwives on the phone and decided to go to a different hospital and get admitted under the care of a different doctor that both ladies highly recommended- Dr. Royek.  He's also head of the dept which is a nice bonus. 

So we went to Memorial, they retested me and everything came back negative.  Ultrasound showed that fluid was good around both babies and we were released. 

Over the next couple days the leak continued a little bit but it didn't concern me until Friday afternoon when it started getting heavier.  After a long night of it waking me up and me worrying about it, we thought it best to go get retested, just to make sure.

We went to our local hospital just in case it still was nothing to worry about and we could just go home.  One test came back neutral and the ultrasound again proved both sacs had plenty of fluid.  We were just about to get up and be released when I had another leak and the nursed tested it- it was undeniably amniotic fluid.  That changed everything.

We went home to get my stuff, I received a wonderful blessing from Greg and Dallin then we headed into Savannah.  We got checked in and another exam to confirm- yes, amniotic fluid.  And apparently a fairly substantial leak.  So I was admitted with this being the game plan- me on bedrest here at the hospital and being induced at 34 weeks.  If I continued to leak, the risks of keeping the babies in at that point outweighed getting them out due to threat of infection etc.   The babies are currently laying transverse-transverse (both straight across my tummy) and if they stayed in that position, I would have to be sectioned.  But there is still plenty of time for them to turn so we won't have a final plan for about 3 weeks. 

This was a really hard reality for me to accept. After two beautiful flawless waterbirths, this situation is the complete opposite of everything I have experienced and everything I believe about childbirth.  But I also know that everything will be fine and everything happens for a reason.  We know that these babies are already bigger than normal.  Tomorrow we are doing a measurement ultrasound and know where they are currently sitting for size.  Dallin mentioned that perhaps it needed to happen this way because if they went full term they might have been too big and more complications then than this situation may be. 

For now, I am not worrying about it. There is no point.  I am focusing on staying relaxed and healing my body. 

Already overnight we have had a lot of improvement.  After being on baby monitors for over 12 hours, I requested at 3am to have them taken off so I could sleep.  I wasn't contracting and they were fine so I felt fine with refusing the constant monitoring even though they wanted to keep me on.  I felt that it was more important to actually get comfortable and get some sleep.  They too are comfortable with the babies situations so I have been switched to a 30 minute monitoring twice a day.  I was on fluids but they have also discontinued that (yay!  It was just going right through me anyway) and I have been taken off my iv for antibiotics.  I have one more dose then will be on an oral dose for another 6 days.  This is a new method that they find has worked in warding off preterm labor with leaks.  The leak has substantially slowed overnight and I am more than confident that I will be healed in a couple days and the docs (who were very doubtful that it would heal)  will be having to reevaluate their game plan.  They might, just might be willing to send me home if I heal and stay dry for a few days.  We will wait and see. 

I am feeling really good and really optimistic about the situation.  I know that this leak will heal.  Whether they will be comfortable in sending me home is another story and one that I might not have any control over.  But I know that the babies will be fine, their birth will be fine and that this too shall pass.  They will be born perfectly healthy and normal in all ways and we will soon be home in our own bed with our little family of four and lots of grammas and grampas to visit and play with. 

Dallin brought the boys up and Farr (my sister who has been visiting and heads home tomorrow) for a visit this afternoon.  It was great to see all of them.  Dace played shy at first but with a few chips and some cartoons he warmed up and was ready to sit with me and give me hugs and kisses.  He even brought me the sweetest little picture he had made with dad.  Of course that made me cry.  Zade did pretty good for the first few minutes then just wanted to rip the place apart so the visit was relatively short but that's what I expected. 

At this point, we welcome all prayers, calls and emails from friends and family.  If you're local, Dallin needs all the help he can get with the boys so that he can get back to work this week.  So please contact him if you are able and willing to help out in any way.  I will keep you posted with any major changes. 

Ninja Turtle No More!

Want a peak at Dallin's spine?  Here ya go...

It's a picture of the computer screen so it's not the best but you can see his new titanium hardware.  This was the first Xray that he took at 1pm today.  Dr.  Suh looked at it and said it looked good but wanted to do a CT scan to measure the bone growth.  So we went back to the imaging building (just across the parking lot) and he did the scan.  The results were what we wanted.  The bone has grown through the hardware (the tube you see in the middle that is connecting the vertibrae) and is looking really good.  So Suh gave Dallin the go ahead to gradually stop wearing the brace.  Wear it a few hours, take it off, back and forth so that the muscles build back up. We were so thrilled for  this good news.  We go back for one last checkup in 4-6 weeks and then that will be the end of this saga.

Dallin took the brace off when we got home and got big hugs from the boys.  Dace summed it up perfectly when he told me " Daddy soft again.  I so excited!" Yup, we are all excited.  No more hugging or playing with a ninja turtle.  We took the boys for an evening swim at the pool.  It was so great to see Dallin walking around without his brace on.  He is going to pace himself, don't worry.  I won't let him overdo it and he doesn't want to either because the bone is still growing in.  But he has had it off most of the evening and everything feels fine.  Suh said that when he gets tired or sore it means to put it back on.  And he will.  We are so thankful for the speedy recovery and quick healing that Dallin has been blessed with.  Now we're going to do our best to make up for a lost summer over the next few weeks.  Lots of swimming at the pool.