Sunday, March 30, 2014

913 days

I remember day 1.  I remember the exhaustion, the pain, the anxiety, the overwhelmingness.  I remember wondering if I would ever heal, if I would ever feel normal or like me again.  I wondered if I would ever get over the exhaustion of that summer - a double pregnancy with 2 energetic boy toddlers to keep up to, helping a husband with a broken back.  Enduring a month of high risk hospital bed rest, followed by a major surgery with the arrival of the twins via c-section.  Overcoming the tense emotions of being separated from them, as Ammon recovered with oxygen and both were monitored in NICU.  I remember the complete heartbreak it was for me to leave them in the hospital, across the state line, when there was no longer room in the inn for me to stay with them.  I remember the joy and relief it was to finally bring them home but the nervous holding of breath at the same time because how was I going to do it with two at once?!?!  I remember being so tired.  So tired that once carrying one of them up the stairs to bed, I stopped and could not remember which foot I was supposed to move next (true story).

913 days later.  Miss is being potty trained.  Ammon continues to whine.  Both sleep through the night.  Miss can dress herself and demands to do so and can say so much she can pretty much verbally communicate with us.  Ammon loves his brothers, can hold his own when wrestling either one of them and enjoys being the 'baby' of the family, and still mama's boy.  They are off the charts for height, weight, health.  No sign of 'preemies' remain.  They read books, build train tracks, race cars, watch shows, color, eat, make messes, help clean up, run and swing and slide and laugh.  They love stickers and puppies and treats and nursery.  They sing songs and do hand actions.  They fold hands and bow heads for prayer.  They give kisses and hugs.  They love life.

And as for mama - I am not so tired.  Most nights I sleep through the night too.  I am finding and defining myself and recovering from the phase of baby raising years.  Some of me will never be the same from having babies.  A few stretch marks stamp the sides of me, stating my passage to motherhood.  Most of me, thank goodness, has returned to normal, or rather my new normal, post 4 babies.  Lots of hard work and it continues to be a process. But the biggest change of all is one that cannot be seen of measured and that is the size and depth of my heart and my love for the four little babies that are growing up into dynamic toddlers and are a blessing to me, this family and all those that know them.



Saturday, March 22, 2014

Saturday morning excursion

I am in bed with the worst sinus infection I have ever had.  I wish my face would just blow up and get it over with.  I finally went to the clinic yesterday, about 3 weeks too late, and got officially diagnosed and put on meds.  Here's to a speedy recovery.  So while I am completely useless today, Dallin took the "3muskateers" for a drive and nature hike on Antelope Island.  Dace decided to stay home and keep me company.  Not really.  He got a new lego set yesterday and was not quite ready to give that up for a few hours outside.

Anyway, looks like they had fun!


Sunday, March 16, 2014

Sweet little church mouse

She was so excited to wear her new "pitty dess" today. Doing so good being reverent. A $50 dress for $10.98? How could i not get it for her?! Lots of sequins and roses! I'm sure more pics will follow...

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The littlest book worm

It was bittersweet to wake up yesterday to the sounds of Miss reading in bed....at 530am.  Several hours later, once i was up and feeling somewhat human, I made this video of her.  It's from my smartphone and had to add it here through youtube so i am sorry it is small and to the side.  But listen to her sweet little voice.  She loves to read and gets that from her mama.  I adore her facial expressions.  She takes her reading very seriously.  

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Cake

Finally had Zade's birthday cake today when we went for family dinner at gramma and grandpa's.  His Bday was a few weeks ago.  He got play golf clubs and a DVD of bubble guppies and went to Del Taco for his bday dinner.  Then that weekend, D, me and Dace and Zade went to see the Lego Movie.  It was awesome.  We saw it in 3D and Dace was on the edge of his seat the whole time.  it was Zade's first movie at the theatre and lasted about half way before he was ready to go to the park.

The movie is awesome.  go see it.  Great message for kids too.

so he requested a curious george cake and while we didn't really have a party, everyone deserves cake on their bday.  This is not my best work.  In fact, if i had more time and money, i would have scratched it and started over.  But alas......
 my goal is to take a fondant class before Dace's birthday in a few months.