Meeting The Doc

Tuesday morning Dallin and I took Tighe to the airport then killed a bit of time in Savannah before going to our first appointment with Dr. McLeod. 

I'm still humming and hawwing over our meeting.  It was kind of....diasppointing. 

I went back first to do some paperwork with his nurse (who was great- loved her!) weigh in etc.  Then I grabbed Dallin and we went to the exam room.  After a few minutes wait, McLeod and his nurse came in.  He gave us both a quick handshake then wanted to measure the tummy, then quickly checked the heart rates, then checked my ankles then walked out.  The nurse helped me up off the table, gave me a book about prenatal and postpartum info and I was starting to freak out in my head thinking, that's it?  He's not even going to talk to us?! then she told us to go down the hall to his office for a talk.  Oh- okay, phew!  I almost freaked out. 

So we went down there and he was very matter of fact asking questions about how far along I was, what vitamins I was taking, warnings about cutting my work down etc then opened it up for questions.  I asked him and talked to him about some of my concerns and the overall vibe I got from him didn't jive with me really well.  He isn't warm and friendly at all.  I remember that from the one and only time before we dealt with him when Dace was a baby.  My friend had the same experience with him too.  You could say his bedside manner is beyond lacking, at least in my opinion.  I don't know if that is the difference between a doctor and a midwife or between a male and female.  He seems to blow off most concerns and questions like my feelings are not justified and that my worries are no big deal.  I don't like feeling like that.  I like feeling cared about and that my feelings are justified (midwives are so great for that) and he is almost the complete opposite. 

BUT -he is very easy going, he will not put me in the OR when everyone else seems to think that is where twins MUST be born.  He is fairly easy going as to most of what I want and don't want and that is his saving grace.  I left the office feeling rather deflated but at this point he is our best option and I can just hope our relationship improves over the next few weeks. 

Last night I couldn't fall asleep, thinking about the appointment and wondering if he really is the best fit for me.  I texted with Emily C for about an hour and she talked me off the edge- thanks, Em!! I feel better about it today and have realized that I can and should only focus on the things I can control.  I can focus on doing the best I can throughout the rest of this pregnancy and just focus on having the best delivery I want and do whatever I can to create that experience.  The rest is out of my control. 

One of the most frustrating things about the appointment was that there is no consistency with information about this pregnancy.  I have been reading this book that is specific for twin/multiple pregnancies.  It's written by 2 women doctors who both have had twin pregnancies and run a multiple births clinic.  But McLeod disagreed with most of what they had said and that I was doing.  Who do I listen to?  Even my midwives had conflicting opinions.  Most people think twin pregnancies is just two babies but it is SUCH a different ball game than a singleton pregnancy.  For instance, the book claims that weight gain before 28 weeks with twins is crucial because after that there is little room for the stomach and it can be a struggle to keep up healthy weight gain.  So that weight gain prior to 28 weeks becomes a storage for both babies and mama.  They say to gain 38 lbs by 28 weeks.  McLeod disagreed.  He says 40 lbs overall.  Forget about the 28 week thing.  Book says to drink 8 16oz glasses of water a day.  McLeod says 4 is sufficient.  Book says 38 weeks is full term for twins.  McLeod is still clocking me for a 40 week pregnancy although he doubts we'll get that far.  But farther along is better. 

In the end, I have decided to side with the experts.  McLeod has delivered hundreds of twins in his 30 years of practice but specializing in the prenatal care of a multiple pregnancy is something he does not do.  And I will continue to listen to my body, follow its lead and trust in my instinct.  Because it has been pretty amazing up to this point. 

When he listened to the heart rates, he said that baby girl was head down and kind of curving up my left side while baby boy was laying horizontal over top of her.  Maybe he was at the moment but for the most part, I think he is head down and feet up as well.  Even as I have been typing this, he's been kicking me in the ribs almost constantly, not kicking out my side. 

I asked him about positioning and anything I can do to assist that and he almost seemed to sneer at the suggestion and commented that babies don't listen outside of the womb, why would they listen to me while in there?  I totally disagree.  I am a huge believer in visualization and talking to my babies in utero (so are the midwives).  I know almost for a fact that Zade's delivery was the way it was because I coached him about it on a nightly basis for weeks prior AND visualized his position and delivery in my head for months.  I know the power of both those techniques and his negative attitude about it really surprised me. 


McLeod says that I am in the critical point of a twin pregnancy.  That from now until about 32 weeks, I am most at risk for preterm labor.  So I am supposed to be doing little as possible, getting good sleep and doing little work.  I am minimizing the best I can but I am still probably doing too much.  It's funny but we both think that Dallin is now in better physical condition than me and definitely is moving easier than I am.  We are both running at 50% so there are times around here where we are a sad sight to behold.  But as I slow down and get bigger and sorer, he is slowly getting back to normal.  We really need a miraculous healing in his back so that everything is perfect in his CAT scan on sept.2 so that he can get out of the brace and officially take over so that I can become the patient. 

Today I have decided that it's not really that big of a deal.  Yes I miss my midwives already but I can still see them and ask them any questions and so I will be leaning on them for support and answers.  But the reality of the situation is that this is a doctor in a hospital birth.  How much involvement will he really have when it comes to the delivery, other than checking on my occasionally then swooping in at the last minute when the babies make their exit?  I think i'll try and plan it so that we get to the hospital about an hour before they are born and our time with McLeod will be minimal.  That might seem really cranky on my part but I don't think I am going to get the support and commradery from him that I do with my midwives.  And there is no sense in crying about it.  He's going to give me the delivery setting that I want so we will stick with him but use him as little as possible, as was the plan from the beginning.  Jill, my midwife, will be there and so I will lean on her for whatever I need.  I am grateful to be able to work with him because it keeps me away from a planned Csection and it keeps me out of the OR.  Everything else I can do myself.  :)  Any disappointment I feel about this relationship I blame on my midwives because they obviously spoiled me with my first 2 babies.  :)Everything is going to be fine.