One Year ago today

A year ago tonight, I was eating as many hot wings as I could fit into a stomach that was currently squished into some nonexistent pocket of my body, the proper space taken over by a big baby boy contemplating making his way into the world. 

I was still 3 days from "due" date (don't really believe in them but that's for another post) and had been 'done' with being pregnant for 3 weeks, especially the last 6 days.  For some reason, I thought for sure that Zade would be born on Feb. 11 so when that date came and passed, I was disappointed, tired, and feeling sorry for myself and my fat butt.

I had been experimenting with my list of natural inductions for days at that point and when Wings Wednesday came along, I was ready to hook it up!  If he wasn't going to make the move on his own, I was completely willing to try and smoke him out.  Pass the spicy hot sauce!

Wings and a few other methods led to me waking up the next morning to contractions and a quick less than 8 hours later, Zade was born. 

My first year together with Zade has gone quick.  It's been trying, an adapting process with a learning curve- doubling the number of kids I have.  My first baby experience was with a textbook angel baby.  My second experience, Mr. Zay-zay, was a lot more high maintenence.

But it has also been beyond rewarding.  Zade is such a happy, happy little boy.  He is a mama's boy, through and through- both a pro and con.  He loves and adores his older brother and it melts my heart to see them play together, laugh together and to see how well they have learned to co-exist.  He loves being independent, loves being an explorer, loves to eat and loves his milk!  He loves being outside, crawling up and down the stairs, playing in the bath, eating everything and anything he finds on the floor and dancing to any song or muscial beat he hears. 

Just as they always do, Zadek grew up way too fast.  He stopped being a cuddler at 4 months, decided to start crawling at 5 months, prefers to eat finger food rather than be fed, likes his quiet time in his crib and when he's tired, all he wants is for you to put him in his crib with his bottle and preferred to walk on his own time rather than with any coaxing.  This Monday it was like he woke up deciding that he was just going to start walking and all week long, every time I turn around he is walking around from one point to the next, all on his own. 

Oh how I love my Zay-zay.  We had, in my opinion, a near-perfect start.  My labor and delivery with him was a beautiful, joyful and almost easy experience.  The first year had its lows but balanced out with even higher highs.  Our bond is unbreakable and even though sometimes I just wish he'd cut the bungee cord attached to my hip, I am grateful for him being a mama's boy because I feel his love so strong every time I pick him up, every time he gives me smiles and giggles, or tight hugs, or the way his face lights up and he squeals with glee when he sees me for the first time in the morning. 

That perfect love of a child is indescribably humbling and purifying.  It melts away the remnants of all the struggles of raising a baby and makes me want to do it all over again.  Because that love, that bond, that joy, that pure bliss found in those perfect moments makes it all worth it. 

Happy birthday, Zadek.  Thanks for making my life and my motherhood all worth it.  I love you.