Oh my gosh, you guys- this is really hard! Dallin and I were talking yesterday about how our current situation raising these two babies with these two toddlers is the hardest thing we have ever done in our lives. It's funny how building families means having kids yet raising kids can sometimes ruin your marriage. ha! ugh....
Last night I think we each averaged about 2 hours of sleep and that wasn't the first rough night we've had. I now know why sleep deprivation is a form of torture because I am beyond sleep deprived at this point. Thankfully the body is adaptable but what I would give for a sound 4 hours. just 4! There have been so many times over the last weeks that I have been woken up at night and have instantly been on the verge of tears because I am just SO tired!
I have been trying for weeks now to get the babies on a routine but it has been like beating my head against a wall. I have gone from Plan A to about Plan Q and still feel like I can't win. I have never had such inconsistent babies before. Let alone x2!!! I have read books (okay, flipped through them and tried to find the key points to apply) searched blogs and asked friends to try and figure out what these babies need. They have gone through growth spurts and cranky times and slept all day then been up for nights. Oh my goodness, when will the madness end?! Not to mention that I have 2 toddlers who have decided not to listen to a thing I say so that is another head against wall situation. erg!
But all hope is not lost. not yet. Both babies are slowly adapting to the EASY method- Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time. Although Nev still prefers sometimes to nurse to sleep, both are doing well at falling asleep on their own which is a huge feat. After reading a blog post yesterday, I have decided to give them 1 more month before I pull out anything drastic. I am grateful that they are warming up to EASY and then we have to get them sleeping through the night. I bet Ammon is over 10 lbs and Nev has got to be between 7-8. I might pop over to the docs tomorrow morning and have a weigh in just so I know where they stand. So they are at a good healthy size to be able to sleep at least 6-8 hours without eating. Nev has done a 7 hour stretch on 3 different occasions but I don't think Ammon has gone past 5. Oh the thought of them sleeping through the night makes me want to cry tears of joy. It will be so life altering once we get back to that point. Dace slept through the night, 12 hours straight, starting at 5 weeks. Ah, memories. good times, good times. To get our sleep back, our sanity back, will be so great.
Their awake time is also improving. Ammon is quite content at sitting or swinging on his own and taking in the sights, trying to figure out the ceiling fan and loving the Christmas tree lights. His favorite is sitting by the window and looking up into the tree tops. You can just see the wonder and amazement reflected in his eyes. It is such a neat thing. Nev, on the other hand, is still a little bit more maintenance. She'll only last for a few minutes before she squawks and wants a pick up. Where is Grampa Larry when we need him?! :) She definitely misses those snuggles, dad. She loves my mama wrap so i will tuck her into that and do what I can with her tied on before she falls asleep and I put her down. I'm slowly trying to stretch our her independent play.
They have both started cooing and making those little gleeful squeaks over the last couple days. I have begun giving them a quick bath each night, working on that whole routine thing, and both are loving that. Ammon can be a bit more dramatic if he's really not in the mood for being naked but he warms up in a couple minutes, scowling the whole time however. ha!
In big brother news, Dace and Zade are quite the tag team these days, playing great together for the most part but then equally getting into mischief and refusing to listen just because. Zade is slowly starting to try out new words and his favorite expression these past few days is a scowl, glaring at you from underneath his eyebrows. He's trying to be mean but it's hilarious! They loved decorating (and undecorating) the Christmas tree and Dace is slowly putting together his wish list. Our block has tons of christmas lights on it and they love taking a short walk before bed to check them out.
These last few weeks have been very trying, very tiring and very rough. But I know we're on the verge of a breakthrough. At the end of December, the twins will be three months. That seems to be the magic marker. My mom always says that by three months, babies have all those kinks worked out and everything becomes that much easier. Here's hoping and praying that that rings true for these two as well. We'll get them on a good daily routine and sleeping through the night and then sanity will be restored and I'll remember what my own name is and life as we know it will be that much easier. I know it's still going to be a handful and tough at times but if we can just continue to survive another day, in a few short weeks this too shall pass. And then we'll exhale.
