I had 4 children in 4 years, 3 pregnancies. Each pregnancy and birthing experience was unique and lovely and perfect in its own right. But my best birth was my second, Zadek. This is our story.
Our second was a surprise pregnancy. Dace had just turned one, I was finally beginning to feel confident in my role of mother and calm in my life. We knew we wanted more than one and it simply was a discussion of timing. No sooner had we finally decided that we would wait 1 more year that I discovered I was pregnant. Scratch that, never mind!
I did the math. Dace would be 21 months old when baby#2 would arrive. I'd have 2 kids under 2. Two kids in diapers. Two kids under two to wrestle in sacrament meeting because Dallin sat on the stand in the Bishopric. Yeesh, I had a stress headache just thinking about it.
I went back to my midwives. I love my midwives! They were happy and excited to see us and they were in their brand new center in Savannah. It was so beautiful and calm, it felt more like a spa. The birthing rooms had corner jacuzzi tubs and queen beds and I was so excited for another waterbirth experience, especially in such a tranquil setting.
My "due date" was Feb.20 but I felt like this one would be early. For some reason, Feb. 11 was stuck in my head. So I thought maybe that would end up being the day.
As far as the name went, I had found the name while pregnant with Dace and knew that this was him. When I took the pregnancy test and saw the results, a little voice told me, "This is Zadek." So I was fairly confident from the beginning that it would be another boy. I wanted another boy. I wanted lots of little boys and I wanted to see two little brothers grow up close in age and being best friends.
My pregnancy was another great experience. Nearly flawless. Other than suffering some insomnia, I really couldn't complain.
When February arrived, I was completely set and ready to go. I was excited. I had taken the prenatal class again and did my relaxations and meditations for months because I knew how much they worked for me. There was an article that I had read earlier that really impressed me and I wanted to try. It was about a mother who pretty much coached her baby while in the womb for the birthing experience. She would talk to her baby and visualize the birth experience that she wanted. I liked that, so I started doing that.
Feb. 11 came and I actually had an appointment scheduled. I knew that morning that it was not going to be the day. I went to my appointment and left disappointed. The rest of the day I was crabby and sad because I was "done" and was ready to give birth and move on, no longer being pregnant.
The next day, I decided to take charge. I started washing floors on hands and knees, speed walking, massaging acupressure points, everything I knew that could possibly stimulate labor. I took it easy, I wasn't desperate yet. But a week later, I was still pregnant and fed up with being so. I upped the ante.
Wednesday night, Feb, 17 I played every offense I could think of. We went for wings and I got the hottest ones I could stand and ate as many as I possibly could. I was determined to smoke that baby out! Then home for a brisk speed walk around and around the block. Then I got Dallin to massage the two best acupressure points for labor- on the ankle and a spot between the shoulder blades. A bedtime snack of hot wings and still nothing! I was ticked.
We laid in bed that night about to turn off the lights. Dallin was reading his scriptures, I was stewing.
"I think tomorrow is going to be the day," he said to me.
"Oh yeah?" I barked sarcastically as I glared over to his non-pregnant side of the bed, "What makes you so sure????"
"This is the verse I just read and I just have a feeling - '...for tomorrow come I into the world."
"Well, I guess we'll see," I said, as I did a 12-point rolling turn with my whale of a belly, trying to find a position on my side that would allow me at least 45 minutes of sleep at a time. Hell hath no fury than a woman who is tired of being pregnant!
Miraculously, I slept well that night. I was dreaming when I had a contraction. I was aware enough in my dream to know that the contraction was real, happening to my body and not just a wishful desire in my dream. I woke up. It was 7am and it was a contraction. I laid there for a few more minutes and had one more contraction before getting out of bed. Yeeeeeees, it's baby time!
I told Dallin what was happening. He was so delighted to have been right for a change and started making preparations for the day. I showered, walked around and tried to eat. I called the center and Jill, who had caught Dace was on today and I was so thrilled that we would be 2 for 2 with her. She said to start timing them, get some breakfast in and call when they were 5 minutes apart for an hour.
Dallin took Dace over to a friends for the day and Lisa showed up. I was so excited that she would be there with me and was going to photograph the birth. I walked around the house and excitedly timed the contractions. They were picking up speed and intensity. This was going to be so much quicker than the first time. I could truly sense that my body remembered what was going on and what needed to happen and I was grateful for having the experience this time around to know what to do myself.
As soon as Dallin returned, we headed for Savannah. It was an easy 35 minute ride door to door. I got inside and my favorite nurse Heidi was at the counter. I gave her a thumbs up, mid contraction, and said "Let's do this! Let's have a baby" She laughed at my eagerness and took me back to get on the monitor.
Yup, it was time. Jill came in and checked me and I was already at a 5, maybe 6. Yippee! I was only 4 hours in and already half way there! With my first birth, it took over 24 hours to barely get to a four. This was turning out exactly how I had visualized and hoped and prayed for.
I had to have an IV this time because I tested positive for strepB. I just needed 15minute doses every 4 hours. I took my first dose while on the monitor and our goal was to have the baby before needing another dose. We can do that, I thought.
I got off the table, baby shifted downward and the contractions kicked in. Stronger and longer now. I assumed this position and barely came out of it before getting in the tub:
Seriously, I think lisa took 500 photos that day and I think at least 100 of them are me leaning over something, breathing through a contraction.
We went down to the birth room and got settled in. I could not get comfortable enough to sit so I paced the hall and then set up camp leaning over the sink. Every woman handles contractions in her own way. For me, I HAVE to be standing up and leaning over something or onto my legs. I learned this the first time around. I knew I could never be a woman who birthed in a hospital bed because I honestly think I would die. I have to be standing. So that's what I did. Because that's the cool thing with midwives. You can pretty much do whatever you need to do (within reason, of course) and you're allowed. Because it's your birth and you're in charge.
I go into a total zone when I'm birthing. the majority of the time is spent with my eyes closed. I am focusing inward, I am concentrating on my breath, I am staying as zen as possible because pain comes with panic. Dallin almost gets a free pass because I don't really need him til its time to push so while I'm working through the cramps and discomforts of laboring a baby, he gets to do this:
Then he gets bored and does this -
just stares into the abyss. But what else are you going to do? Your wife isn't ready to squeeze your hand to the point of breaking so you might as well zone out....anyways, back to me and baby.
So the sink was the best spot for me. I could lean on it and my snacks were right there beside me. Lisa wanted some pics of us together so she told Dallin to go over and massage something. We get this:
Heidi came in to check on baby.
Isn't that an impressive outie?!?!?!
From there, I just got into the groove. Contractions got more intense and closer together. I stopped snacking, stopped talking for the most part and focused. I had read an interview with Gisele Bundchen-Brady who also did a natural birth and she said what helped her through contractions was reminding herself that that pain was bringing her one step closer to her baby. I liked that, I used it and it did work in easing the discomfort.
Where's Dallin?
Where's mama?
It didn't take too long to get to the point where I didn't know how much more I could take. That was a good sign. I knew that things were getting close. The contractions were much quicker so it was hard to rest enough in between. I remember telling myself that I will get through 3 more then I will ask for Jill.
When I asked for her and she came in, I was in the middle of another contraction. I wanted her to check me. They were coming so quickly that we'd have to be really quick getting to the bed, checking and getting me back up before another one hit.
I figured that I had to be at least at a 7, maybe an 8 from how intense and close the contractions were. Sure enough, I was 8, maybe even a 9. I told them to start the tub, I wanted to get in.
While the tub was filling, Jill asked if I wanted to try a different position. She knew I had been on my feet the whole time and I needed a rest before pushing. I was mush at this point and let her bend and fold me into a position that would relax me. I was on the bed on my knees then hugging a birth ball. Boy, did it ever feel good! So good, I actually fell asleep for a few minutes.
Then it was tub time.
Oh man, did that warm water ever feel amazing! There is a reason they call it the aqua-dural. Seriously.
Again, I turned inward. I knew we were moments away. I knew the pain that was coming. I was still a bit afraid of it. Because no matter how "easy"(and I use that term loosely) the rest of your labor is, that ring of fire is undeniably felt, no matter what. (except for the epidural then its all numb)
Contractions slowed at first from getting in the tub. There was a conversation going on between Dallin and the nurse, something about a recipe. I piped in and made a comment and Lisa, who had remained silent and like a fly on the wall the whole time just snapping away, laughed and could not believe I was about to have a baby and I was casually making some comment about ranch sauce. It was funny.
Jill came in and checked me. Baby was in position, I was in position. It was simply a matter of waiting through the contraction until I could no longer resist the urge to push, and then to make it count. This is when I got whimpy. I knew that stupid ring of fire was probably minutes away and I didn't want to feel it! So I had to give myself a pep talk: "Tovah, that sensation only lasts a few seconds, a couple minutes at most. You've done it before and survived and you will do it again. Then it will be over and you won't feel it anymore." Okay, okay. I was ready. Let's push.
Jill told me that he was right there, probably could crown in the next push. I liked the sound of that. It was time. So I repositioned, then I pushed.
This was where it all paid off. Because I got the exact birth I had envisioned and had talked that baby through over and over again. He crowned on the next push. His head out on the next push. The rest of his little body on the next push.
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| He's out. Jill asks me if I want to get my baby, I can be the one to lift him out of the water. |
4 pushes. It was the number I had wanted. He was born at 2:41pm, less than 8 hours from first contraction to birth. It was the time frame I had wanted.
He was perfect. He was my Zadek, my little' righteous one'. I was ecstatic, I was humbled, I was tired, I was happy.
Ya gotta love all those natural hormones that kick in instantly following. You feel no pain, it all instantly disappears and you feel completely one with your baby, so in love with this brand new person in your life. I laughed, I cried and I thanked him for finally coming out of me.
I calmed down, Zade calmed down, the room slowed and there was peace.
Once the cord slowed, Dallin cut the cord, Zade was taken to get measured and dried and dressed and the emotions opened up all over again.
He weighed in a 8.14 lbs, 21 inches. Born Feb.18, 2 days before the date. I had been right, he was early. Just not as early as I originally thought.
Once I was out of the tub and tucked into that sweet, comfy, cozy bed, Zade latched on and didn't let go for nearly 3 hours. I sent Dallin out for my favorite sandwich and a big, massive strawberry limeade from Sonic. I earned that one!
About an hour later, I needed to get up to pee. Heidi helped me to the bathroom. I was feeling so good, I couldn't believe it. I sat down and told her, "You know, it's worth having 2 babies just to see how easy it can be the second time around!" and I truly believe that. Your body really does remember and there is something to be said about muscle recognition.
Since Zade and I were normal and healthy, we could leave the center after 4 hours and we chose to do so. We packed up and left around 8pm. Zade sucked my finger all the way home. He was a suckler. Needless to say, milk came in in record time.
This time around, I took Jill's advice and took a babymoon. Zade and I stayed in bed for 2 days after coming home. We napped, snuggled, ate, nursed and slept some more. It was wonderful. The perfect ending to my perfect and my best birth.
I Love you, Zade. You will always be my sweet little Zay-zay. XO
