Nope, Not Ready

Yesterday I bought my first born his first backpack for school.

Nope, I am not ready.  I'm not ready to let him go and to send him off to school.

But I better deal with it, accept it and get ready because we are only 3 weeks away from FIRST DAY.
Sniff sniff.......

VICTORY!

Oh happy, happy, happy day! 

This is a date that is going in my journal.  

So, it's like this.  

First, there was this - 

and then this -

and then oh good gracious, this double whopper doozy -

3 pregnancies.

4 babies. 

5 years.  

130 lbs gained and ....

LOST

Today, July 27, 2013 - PRE-BABIES WEIGHT!!!!!

I'd like to thank the academy, er, uh, Briana, the creator of Bikini Body Mommy Challenge. 

I have been doing the challenge for 40 days now, still have 50 to go.  And totally plan on finishing.  

I am just so excited to be back to this weight.  It has been a goal for a long time and for a long time I thought that I was never going to lose that last 5lbs!  But I kept at it, gave up my ice cream therapy until it was done and just kept moving.  And ta-da!  Mission accomplished.  

I'm not posting my AFTER photo until the challenge is done.  While my weight has returned to normal, there is still some toning up and trimming down that I want and I know finishing the challenge will get me there. 

This challenge has been such a great thing for me.  

First, it has allowed me to reach a very important goal.  This is a big win that I so desperately needed.  As I was sitting thinking about it after lunch, I actually cried for a couple minutes because it hit me so hard.  That I finally got there!  It has been over 6 years since I was this weight.  I have sacrificed my body for the sake of 4 beautiful babies and while I was happy to do so, today was quite momentous because it felt like the return of me.  Those hard sacrifices and pain and discomfort and everything else that comes with pregnancy all came full circle.  It is done.  My body is me again.    

Secondly, the timing was perfect and completely horrible at the same time.  D has been gone 5 weeks now and it could have been the perfect excuse to stop or pause but I kept going because it was "me" time and it was a vent for me to release my frustration and disappointment and all the heartache that comes with this single mommydom.  It gave me a chance to let my legs run so my mind would stop.  Just a great healthy release that we all need, but I need especially because this has been the most challenging parenting of my life to date.  

Thirdly, it was the perfect excuse to start running again.  Oh how I have wanted to run for so, so long.  And with 45 minutes of cardio every other day, I wanted to get my feet wet again.  So I did.  Of course, at the beginning it was horrible.  It hurt, I couldn't move as fast as I wanted to and I was sore the next day.  But there is something to be said for muscle memory or whatever it is called.  It only took a week before running faster felt better than taking it slow.  My body wanted to run!  After a few days off to deal with some health issues, I was craving  a run.  I just ached to get out on the road and be set free.  With the help of friends from church, I am able to get out a couple nights a week and it feels so great.  Cute shorts help too!  (haha)

So, in conclusion, it was a big win for this momma today.  And its only going to keep getting better.

They Were So Little

I was up way too late last night....thinking.  Which is usually not a good thing with me.

I don't know what kicked it off but it started in the afternoon and kept coming back to me all the way up to bedtime.  My babies have grown up so fast.  They were so little!  And now, we are months away from our final stint of potty training, changing out the cribs forever to the last twin sized beds, our firstborn going off to Kindergarten (!!) and the 'babies' are starting to talk.  Never mind the fact that it's almost time to start thinking about planning their 2nd birthday party!

Two other major factors that are contributing to my visit of memory lane is that I am weeks away from celebrating another birthday.  And my baby brother, the 7th of 7, the baby, returns home from a mission today.  21 years old.  I still remember giving him bottles in his highchair.   Time marches on.

Needless to say, I have been very reminiscent.  I was looking through photos and videos and just being blown away at how quickly the time has flown by and how much I did end up surviving/enduring.  I have lived to tell the tale!

Babies...they are just so little and so sweet and so perfect.  I have been SO blessed to have had 4 amazingly good babies who are now growing into amazingly good kids.  It is bittersweet coming to this crossroads where one phase of life is phasing out and another begins.  When I look back, I don't remember how extremely tired I was (except for the one time when the twins were newborns and I was carrying one up the stairs and halfway up, stopped and for the life of me could not remember which foot came next.  I was that sleep deprived!!) but I remember the sweet things.  Those 'nothing' moments.  Because in hindsight, those nothing moments were the everything.

THEN -
Nev                                                                                Ammon

Zade

                                             Dace

NOW -

Bahahaha! So doing this

Where's Zade?

He's here!

I am pretty sure he is most under-blogged about child of mine but the kid rarely sits still.  most of the time he is a blur in any photo that is lucky enough to capture his existence.

He is having fun being independent and a big boy and playing with his babies.  he loves his Miss so much!  This captures their relationship perfectly.

Best. Cribhead. Ever!

Nev woke up from her afternoon nap looking like she just came out of a salon...well, almost.  Whatever "product" was developed in her sleep, I want it.  she looked like a baby version of Meg Ryan, circa 1990's.  So how could I not take a pic...or 50.  With the hair came a bit of extra sass as you will see.  but that is just what naturally happens when you have great hair!!

This is exactly how it looked on its own.  I didn't adjust one strand!

After Dinner Running/Dancing party